This is the twilight zone...

Well this week has taken and interesting turn for the better!
I'm having a hard time believing everything.
So Friday I guess my friend had told that girl that I like that I'm a good guy... she was told I had a crush on her earlier this week, really interesting outcome with this.
I really don't want to jinx myself but I saw her on the street waiting to load up all her stuff in the van for her bands show that night. She waved me down from far away and gave me a big hug and was happy to see me. She told her her situation that she was waiting to head out to the show.
I arrived with some friends at the show, pretty eager to see her but pretended like I didn't see her when I walked in. She walked up to me and greeted me warmly, told he she was glad I could come. I really didn't expect any of that from her.
She talked to me briefly with the loud band that was playing at the time, we couldnt really hear each other so not so good, but good that I was close to her.
I sat and watched the show for a little while, she came up to me out of the blue and introduced me to two of her good friends. It was pretty intense, I tryed to be a gentlemen and greet then as best I could with all the loud music. I couldnt really hear them well either way.
I was pretty shocked. She gave me alot of attention on friday so I'm asking her out tomorrow. I'm hoping to get some coffee with her or something soon.

I'm sticking to my story. I have alot of offer and I deserve this. I'm better than any of those douche bag MP&E guys.
This feels pretty good and even though I am questioning if this is the twilight zone, this feels pretty real and good to me.

I'm at the top of my game right now, and this can mean big things for me.
I'm keeping myself cool, if I can maintain this should all good down pretty smooth.

Keep it real.
-Pete

New, and old.

Today was just a regular friday I guess.
I managed get some relaxation in this afternoon, so that was nice.
I have a session rehearsal tomorrow for some singer songwriter stuff that should be pretty fun to do.
I'm feeling pretty good about myself lately. Everything is falling into place. The only things that I want to get done are my 2 class make up finals and projects, and then I'll be happy to go on with the rest of my life.

I was talking to a friend today about Nicole and how I had the most amazing convo a few days ago. I was really impressed with myself in what I say to him when we got on the subject of women at my school. We talked about all the girls who are just looking for those "protective" men. I'm frequently a target of those kind of girls. I reject every one of them. I'm not here to replace your daddy. At least not completely.
I told Nick "I never want to think of my girlfriend as anything lesser then myself". I'm all about the equality in a relationship. So I see that potential before me and I'm worried I wont have enough time to act on it. I'm trying to take it all in naturally though, and hoping Nicole will come around and talk to me, or me talking to her first.
Anyways, no sign of her for miles today, except for when I ended up racing to class this morning I passed her on the stairs saying hello and smiling. She seemed frustrated by something and unable to react quick enough even though I heard a hello back.

On another note I quit drinking for the semester. I figured I would see how life would be on the sober side every week. Its been very positive so far. I hope it continues to be that way, fighting temptation can be a good test of my will. I need to prove myself on very personal level this semester so everything that I'm doing is great for me.
This medication made me feel like I'm traveling a million miles an hour this week, because my anxiety is down I'm just feeding my body more work, but this weekend I will be unwinding and kicking back.

I ran into Joe, my original and only Zen teacher, after a year of basically not seeing much of him. He greated me fairly warmly and invited me to his personal meditation group during the week, I was pretty delighted about that. I'll be getting a little more guidance and group meditation has always helped me with my practice. I'm pretty stoked, I really need this right now.

Alright, have a good weekend.
Cheers.

What is this all about?

I dont know what this is.
I'm seriously confused.
I've been wanting to cry for the last half hour and nothing is coming out.
I always show maybe too much of my bad side... this sucks. I was really hoping that she would find me more so attractive but I guess I'm just another douche bag that doesnt know that he's talking about.
I'm really passionate about my beliefs and it doesnt seem to matter when things like these happen. I should have just never opened my mouth.

This is girl is really great and she obviously has a vast knowledge about europe that I don't have. I really hope I can gain some of that knowledge.
It really impresses me though and thats what I've always wanted a girl who will challenge me , putting fire under my ass.
I really wish I wasn't so heart felt about these sorts of things. I wish I had more of a cleaner way of thinking.
Opening my mouth at the wrong times.


Yesterday was one of the best days Ive had in a while. I talked to her, and it was so nice. I want to talk to her more, I want her to see all the positives that I've been developing over these years.
I just want one great girl, I want another reason to keep my act clean. I know I'm here to do great things for myself, but why can't I just get a break every once in a while.
I'm long overdue. I know this. Even my mom knows this.
I need to make some progress, even if its just getting along really well with someone.

Oh man am I frustrated.
This is awful.


Good night.