break from schoolwork, writing down my thoughts for the week

I havent written in this thing in a while. I thought I would take the time out to write my thoughts in hopes that I'll feel better.

For the past week or so things have been hectic. I should be working on one of my many projects right now in order keep up this pace to getting things done one by one. I will at least finish something to get some progress done today, thats for sure.
I've been feeling good. My crush and/or feelings for that girl I previously spoke of kind of went away... not for any reason I still really like her, but my mind is trying to get all this school work done and honestly I haven't had much time to even think about her. I haven't seen her since Wednesdays show, but it doesn't really matter. As long as I can talk to her at least once more before we all go our separate ways for summer then I'll be fine. I just want to tell her how great its been getting to know her and that we should hang again in September when we all get back.
When I think about September I think of all the excitement thats going to be going on with my new pad and new location. I'm excited about having my own place to live.

On another crazy note, I've been keeping up with my usual workout routine and I've been feeling awesome. Yesterday I did some intense stuff on the elliptical machine and today I'm feeling it. It feels really great. I'm so happy I'm able to be in such good shape for this age, and hopefully I'll just be maintaining what I have.

Along with recovery and all the testosterone - I've been the most horny guy on the planet this week, but I've been treating myself well to some privacy to help with that so I dont act it out. Today I did three healthy sessions and its more then the usual but I needed it. Also took a couple of short naps today which felt really great, I've been exhausted all day, my body has been screaming at me to get some rest.

So with all that going on there really isn't much room for anything else. I want to be home for the summer already. I'm seriously sick of the cafeteria food here, I want to be on a better diet.
This summer calls for some major workout challenges. Working alot. Hopefully Teaching guitar as well. My finances are really gonna get it this summer.
I really want a summer fling. I know it sounds bad but I feel I deserve it...someone safe and loyal just for the summer. Back home there is no point of getting attached anyways. I need to get all the sex out of my system before I get into a more serious and well-rounded relationship. Hopefully this summer will provide me with some options. I'm not gonna go whore myself out though, it would be nice to just get to know a sweet girl that I can have casual sex with and enjoy myself this summer.

The male mind is polluted and take my word for it, I'm one of the good ones thats out there.

I think thats it for now.
-Pete

What is this all about?

I dont know what this is.
I'm seriously confused.
I've been wanting to cry for the last half hour and nothing is coming out.
I always show maybe too much of my bad side... this sucks. I was really hoping that she would find me more so attractive but I guess I'm just another douche bag that doesnt know that he's talking about.
I'm really passionate about my beliefs and it doesnt seem to matter when things like these happen. I should have just never opened my mouth.

This is girl is really great and she obviously has a vast knowledge about europe that I don't have. I really hope I can gain some of that knowledge.
It really impresses me though and thats what I've always wanted a girl who will challenge me , putting fire under my ass.
I really wish I wasn't so heart felt about these sorts of things. I wish I had more of a cleaner way of thinking.
Opening my mouth at the wrong times.


Yesterday was one of the best days Ive had in a while. I talked to her, and it was so nice. I want to talk to her more, I want her to see all the positives that I've been developing over these years.
I just want one great girl, I want another reason to keep my act clean. I know I'm here to do great things for myself, but why can't I just get a break every once in a while.
I'm long overdue. I know this. Even my mom knows this.
I need to make some progress, even if its just getting along really well with someone.

Oh man am I frustrated.
This is awful.


Good night.