Los Angeles

So once again I find myself back to where I go to vent and post about nothing at all.

I'm in LA now, after several classes, days, months, seasons, problems, solutions have passed. I feel good here, for the most part. I've only been here for about a month and I've had high expectations of myself which has driven me up a wall. Things that help me stay happy are:
Working out, health awareness, new meditation group, my apartment, anything involving getting organized.

I've had my good times and my bad times here already, but I just know that I belong here. I KNOW I can't really be anywhere else unless I'm really needed there or I'm on a work assignment or something. Job hunting has been going slow, but I'm getting a better understanding of what I should be doing every week. This week has been a drag but I was finally able to pick up the guitar after doing some minor repair work on it. I'm trying to play more and take advantage of the time that I don't have work. Next month will be crunch time because I'm going to need a job, and all the bills that will be popping up.

I miss my friends from back in Illinois. You dont understand the relationships that hold you together until you go away and you're on your own and all you have is books and motivational speeches to keep you from crying yourself to sleep at night. Moms phone calls don't help much, but it's something. Glad to be away from the parts of Chicago that I don't miss though.

Los Angeles is a great place to be, especially since I'm so ready to get my career going, but I just can't understand what it takes right now. I dont know what I really want, and it seems like I'm going to have to do things I don't enjoy that much for a while and smile, and be somewhat happy.

My priorities have become more pronounced over the last year or so, and it's been a great experience. I wish I could tell everyone about it, but I think I might just save that for a book or something when I turn 35. Maybe, who knows.

Anyways. I don't know what to expect. I find myself being tired and depressed late at night like this - I crawl into bed and the next morning I'm back in action feeling better and planning what I'm suppose to be doing.

Late nights get the best of me, I feel like an old man who needs to be in bed by 10pm. At least my dreams are always with me.

"Won't you join me on the perennial quest?
Reaching into the dark, retrieving light
Search for answers on the perennial quest
Where dreams are followed, and time is a test"