Home

Some things that are great about being back home.

Seeing my mom.
Seeing my dog.
Sleeping in my queen sized bed, that has a nice hard mattress.
Seeing all my friends finally.

Using internet that doesn't have a restricted firewall.


I'll think of more later...

Wide awake at 5am.

This is awful. Finals week is here and I can't even sleep. Might be all that caffeine I drank to stay focused on my project. No matter how much caffeine I drink I still can stay focused. Thats been the trend this semester. I just can't stay focused.
I talked to my mom today and told her I wanted to see the doctor when I came home. I think I might be mildly depressed or something. I'll guess I'll have to see what the doctor says about it. Hopefully he/she can put me on something.
I'm just really tired of dealing with this. I've had anxiety issues since I was a kid, so maybe its that leading to me being depressed/ unfocused.
This semester has been a disaster and I wish there is some way I could turn back time so I could have gone to see a doctor earlier. Oh well.
I just need to get through this week without fucking up my finals big time.

There are two things I havent done in a long time.
Had a good cry.
And seen my mother.


I miss my mom.

You're such as asshole.

Greg Howe is my favorite guitar player right now. I'm transcribing one of his solo's off the ever so popular "Extraction" album.
Lucky 7 is a great sounding tune, and I've had the hardest time with this thing. This is my first true "on paper" transciption that I've done in a while, but god damn.
Greg - you're an asshole for making your music so complex yet musical at the same time. I love the guy for it.
When I grow up I wanna be like Greg Howe.... I think I would be more then content.
And by "grow up" I mean - after college, making money with a guitar, just like a real trooper.

Holy Hell!!!

Well. I have tickets booked for the 22nd of December to fly back home. Pretty awesome, excited about that, but I also looked at the calender and realized that the days are numbered!!!
HOLY SHIT, I need to do work!!
I've already said goodbye to my weekends....
This semester went by way too fast.


Back to work.

Cheers,
-Pete

Bad week....

Has been such a bad week, I'm feeling better now though, thankfully.
I was sick on monday, had a bad fever, then after seeing a walk-in clinic on tuesday I was told to just get some rest and let it all blow over. Well... Thursday night I got a bad case to Pink eye and basically felt the same in the morning. Went to see a doctor right away. I love it when I find a good doctor because they know what's up and they will give down to business. I explained myself and she examined me. I ended up with Bronchitis and Pink eye, both which I got meds for. The Penicillin knocked me out for a majority of the weekend, and finally today I feel better. I've been trying to do work all day, but of course my mind doesn't really focus completely. Its been getting better though.

I'm sick of school. With all this stuff thats in demand, I have simply no time to relax and get better. I wish I did. But school doesnt allow it.

Lets hope this week I can shape up. I'm sensing I'm going to be shedding all next weekend as well.
Goodnight folks.

a little reflection...

I have a love and hate relationship with writing blogs. I somehow see if as a great way to summarize my thoughts so I dont have to sit there and blabber to everyone of you individually. At the same time though, this shit is sooo corny - I'm such a lonely sap.

Overall this semester has left me scratching my head. I have gotten soo confused over things people are doing, ways in which things tend to take shape that I just seriously would be better off with no thoughts at all. None. That would be nice. Instead I like playing in the mud with my conscience.

My classes have been giving me a good run for the money while my motivation dropped significantly. I feel as if I have absolutely lost the big picture and all I really want to be doing is Playing guitar, sleeping, eating, and enjoying the fresh air. I never get out anymore. A week ago I realized that I had forgot what the sky had looked like. I keep looking at big buildings and streets that go on for miles, pretty distracting and taking for granted the general openness of the sky.
In the summer I used clouds as one of my many visualizations during mediation as an aid and I realized it very much helped me. Anytime I had a chance I would go out and check out the clouds to have a more realistic understanding, burning into my brain what they really are.
The clouds always remind me of childhood when we found the shapes of clouds rather appealing and our imaginations never failed us. Good times I say.

I could easily say at this point in my life that I'm very much content with myself. I have things that need to be worked on, but overall everything is going so well.
Recently I've been missing my friends alot, honestly I find the sanity very appealing... there is no one here for me in Boston. If I had somewhere to go that was more appealing, and I wasn't into school so much then I would easily get the fuck out of here.
I've been considering start off my career in Chicago after school , or at least either working or studying because I could spend a year or so closer to some of my friends at least this will provide me with some closure, and/or sanity after this living in this garbage disposal of flaky ass people.

For most of my life I haven't been the most social person. I've built myself from the ground up and Ive finally at a neutral level of acceptance with myself and very happy.... but hey lets shove me into a school where social skills are a luxury, and somehow everything likes to gravitate towards the negative. Thats just fine and dandy.
My life is focusing on the positive, because that is the difference between your FAILURE, and MY success. And if you dont like it, then you can go FUCK YOURSELF! And that goes for every last one of you.
Thats the goal. Live life, and be happy. Is that too much to ask for. Seriously? Get a grip people.
I've been fighting for too long to just throw my life away with the rest of you whinny bitches.

So thats my summery of thoughts for this last half a year. Basically yeah.

Oh yeah, and Girls have never been more confusing. You all are fucking crazy, haha, jk... but seriously. : )
I'm very content with being single, at the same time I have to deal with my stupid early 20's libido.

So just to summarize.(again)
1. I'm a lameass.
2. I'm confused as hell.
3. Lack of Motivation for some strange reason.
4. I miss my friends, and home.
5. Clouds are cool... you probably take them for granted too.
6. People suck sometimes.
7. Negative people FAIL! Failure face.
8. Women are from Venus, and we should nuke it.
9. Girlfriends are good for my libido, but not good for my schedule. (maybe?)

Hope you all had an excellent Thanksgiving weekend. Think of me when you do your Christmas shopping. I'm a broke ass college student. Yay!

Thanks for reading.

Cheers,
-Pete......\m/

New Blog

Hey this is Pete.
This my new blog, I havent had much time to work in it at all. I will fill in details later on.

Cheers,
-Pete