What is this all about?

I dont know what this is.
I'm seriously confused.
I've been wanting to cry for the last half hour and nothing is coming out.
I always show maybe too much of my bad side... this sucks. I was really hoping that she would find me more so attractive but I guess I'm just another douche bag that doesnt know that he's talking about.
I'm really passionate about my beliefs and it doesnt seem to matter when things like these happen. I should have just never opened my mouth.

This is girl is really great and she obviously has a vast knowledge about europe that I don't have. I really hope I can gain some of that knowledge.
It really impresses me though and thats what I've always wanted a girl who will challenge me , putting fire under my ass.
I really wish I wasn't so heart felt about these sorts of things. I wish I had more of a cleaner way of thinking.
Opening my mouth at the wrong times.


Yesterday was one of the best days Ive had in a while. I talked to her, and it was so nice. I want to talk to her more, I want her to see all the positives that I've been developing over these years.
I just want one great girl, I want another reason to keep my act clean. I know I'm here to do great things for myself, but why can't I just get a break every once in a while.
I'm long overdue. I know this. Even my mom knows this.
I need to make some progress, even if its just getting along really well with someone.

Oh man am I frustrated.
This is awful.


Good night.